Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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