I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
