I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
