Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
