....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize