Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
