I want to make a zoo with you.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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