The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
