Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.

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(720): View more from Colorado

o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

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(585): View more from New York

Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone

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(605): View more from South Dakota

So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?

(720): View more from Colorado

This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...

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