As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
