What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
