Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
