Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
