Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
