dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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