After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
