You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
should my penis look like a turkey
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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