ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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