I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
