Christians are straight up FREAKS
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
