In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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