zippers are such a cool invention
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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