margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
