umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Holy sore nipples Batman
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
