so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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