The maid of honor just puked.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
