I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
