"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
