you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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