TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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