Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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