He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
