I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize