Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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