Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(740): View more from Ohio

i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina

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(678): View more from Georgia

yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis

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(936): View more from Texas

Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Our lives are a motherfucking joke

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(616): View more from Michigan

Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...

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