Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize