Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
