i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
