Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
