We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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