i would punch a child for taco bell
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
