i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
