Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
