it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
