No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
