Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
