i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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