I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
