Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
