is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
