A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
