She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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