I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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