He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize