I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
