and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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