wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize