i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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