all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
it was like having sex with a tree stump
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
