either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
