Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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