ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
