Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm passing your future prison.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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