Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
