there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
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