So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
