Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize