Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
bring money and cleavage
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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