my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I did not marry a roomba.
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