My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
