I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
