So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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