I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
